That’s it folks! My last post of 2017. I’ve been going back and forth regarding what to write… this has been one HELL of a year. I think being so much in the public eye and curating what you see is terrifying and reassuring all the same time. Terrifying because as you can imagine you are always judged, sometimes bullied, not always liked and often envied. I’ve experienced all this and then some this year. However it was also reassuring because many of you reached out providing content suggestions, telling me what you loved to see, asking me questions and giving me incredible feedback and reassurance. Many of you became my social media family if you will! I honestly wouldn’t be where I am today without you and for that I will forever be grateful!
This year has been one of the more difficult years for many. With all the natural disasters, mass shootings, terror, politics, and sexual harassment. The world felt like it was ending at times, yet it was also so beautiful to see so many united.
My world was turned upside down on January 4th, 2017 when my mom was diagnosed with what we thought was ovarian cancer and was later confirmed to be cervical cancer (a killer). As many of you know my mom is my best friend, my blog photographer, my sidekick…literally my everything. So as you can imagine this wasn’t an easy beginning to a New Year. However, our family is no stranger to hardship, and in a very BERKUN way we walk through all the shit barefoot and with a smile on our face, sometimes that smile is drenched in salty tears and snot, but it’s still a smile. Never once did I post about this and only talked briefly about it to my closest friends… because why focus on the negative?! Do you really want to see all our oncology visits? NO! You don’t! I promise. My mom is ok, she’s in remission and I am convinced that it’s our positivity and strength that got her though this.
After over twenty years working as a fashion photographer, stylist and creative director I also decided to take the plunge and pursue blogging full time. Thank you to the amazing support and huge push of my husband. It was a very scary move, but it was time. I’ve been fortunate enough to always feel the pulse of my industry and my creative abilities. It’s not easy to begin new un-known journeys, especially in the livelihood field. However, this year was one of the most rewarding years of my career. Not only am I lucky to work with my family and be home for my kids, but my hobby literally became my job!
2017 was also a crazy ride in friendships. I’ve spent so much of the last few years trying to cater to people that really didn’t seem to care all that much in return. I’ve always surrounded myself with many groups of friends for many years and try to accept people for who they are and with open arms. However I definitely don’t always feel that in return. This year gave me complete clarity as to who really matters in my life, who really cares for me and my best intentions. I also learned that there are still “mean girls” when you’re in your 30’s and there are such things as clicks…. which I never felt in high school to tell you the truth. It’s crazy to me, being a mama of two girls, I definitely raise my littles to be the “You can sit with me” type of babes. So many women out there don’t practice what they preach and it’s a shame.
Finally, for those that think my kids are perfect, believe you me they are not. They fight like animals, sometimes I think they wanna kill each other. There is definitely lots of yelling… really working on being more patient in 2018, and it’s certainly true what they say – Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. I’ve learned that the hard way and have had more then a few challenges with my oldest son, who’s somewhat of a rebel and certainly a “not in the box type of a thinker”. It’s been a rough road, but I intend to try to be the best mom to these kids that I can, and motherhood just like anything else is a work in progress.
So there you have it folks! Life’s not perfect, it never is… but one thing I’ve learned is that it’s also always evolving, changing and sometimes ending. I try to live in the moment, I try to always be positive and I try to move forward whenever and however I can.
Thank you for those of you that do always support me, love me and accept me for who I am!
Happiest of 2018! May this year be kind, gentle and healthy!